You Know You Are German, When…

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  1. … you repeadetly have serious discussions about the importance of the beer purity law (Reinheitsgebot; states that the only ingredients must be water, barley and hops)
  2. … you sit in an outdoors café / beergarden, wrapped in blankets, whenever the sun is out (no matter how cold it is)
  3. … you are an awkward dancer
  4. … you call a turtle a shielded toad / shielded water toad
  5. … guys don’t have balls but eggs
  6. … you only buy French or Japanese cars when don’t have enough money for a quality German one
  7. … you buy drinks for all your friends on YOUR birthday
  8. … you always park your car in the direction you are driving
  9. … you don’t like to meet other Germans while travelling – but they are EVERYWHERE!
  10. … you re-use plastic shopping bags as trash bags
  11. … your drinking street foods are döners and falafelsIMG_2639
  12. … you have insurances for everything – better be safe than sorry!
  13. … nudity is not a problem – not on the beach and not in mixed saunas (you have seen a lot of old dudes’ penisses in your life)
  14. … you’re outraged when you have to pay for dental care
  15. … your CV is endless, consisting of your religious beliefs, the names and occupation of your parents and a picture of yourself
  16. … people yell at you for jaywalking
  17. … you secretly like David Hasselhoff – but woulnd’t admit it IMG_4871d
  18. … you are used to free education
  19. … on New Year’s Eve you watch “Dinner For One
  20. … you love the moments when you return bottles and get a lot of deposit money back (25 cents per bottle)
  21. … you’re invited to a BBQ you bring home made pasta- and potatoe salad
  22. … being 15 minutes too early means to be on time
  23. … you’re abroad it’s hard to find “real” bread you like (only sloppy white shitty bread)
  24. … after lectures you knock on the table to show your appreciation
  25. … you have a blue eye instead of a black eye
  26. … you like to drink everything mixed with sparkling water
  27. … you answer the phone saying your name insted of “hello”
  28. … you spend the summers at quarry lake beaches (Baggersee)DSC_8900
  29. … every saturday is cleaning day
  30. … telling somebody “happy birthday” in advance is bad luck
  31. … you know who Anton from Tyrol is
  32. … finding porn in supermarkets close to the kids’ magazines is no surprize
  33. … you check for signs in parks to make sure you are allowed to step on the lawn
  34. … your co-workers are not your friends – professional distance must be kept at all times
  35. … you miscalculate how long it takes you to drive somewhere abroad because they have speed limits in foreign countries
  36. … you are an expert on seperating your trash
  37. … seeing elderly men in speedos is normal – swim shorts are for the young
  38. … you know on December 6th Santa Claus will come beat you with a stick if you have been naughty
  39. … you love Nutella but hate marmite and peanut butter
  40. … public restrooms are not for free – if you jump over the barrier you’re a rebel
  41. … you know shops are closed on sundays – the gas station is the only place where you can buy (very much overprized) drinks and snacks
  42. … in winter you complain about cold weather – in summer you complain about the heat
  43. … your country finally won the world cup!!!IMG_3883a

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